Home education: How I finally came to a decision

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Home education: How I finally came to a decision

This is my story.

My husband talked about home educating when our eldest started school but it was an absolute no from me, I did not feel able to or have any desire to.

I got involved at the school by becoming a Governor and then became Chair of Governors. This gave me great insight into what goes into the running of the school, all the policies and how they come about, etc.  During this time I was exposed to home educating families and then we had lockdown so I had my children at home all the time. This family time felt very natural and I came to realise that sitting at a table and teaching your children isn’t the only way for them to learn.  Children are genuinely learning all the time.  When people imagine home education they typically see it as school at home, but they need time outside to explore and burn off energy and freedom is incredibly good for many of their developmental skills.

When my older two were in Years 2 and 3, we had to move house and would need to move schools. By this point I was ready to try home education as I realised I could, in fact, do at least as good job as the school were doing.  I had one child being left behind and another not being pushed. In a class of 30 children, your child is just one.

My first year in home education was the hardest of my life.  I moved house, had a baby, and cared for my mother who then passed away. My baby has numerous allergies and we had many trips to the doctors and there was much stress involved. Whilst in the throes of post-natal depression I was under pressure to send my children back to school as I “wasn’t coping”. After some time I believed this and phoned around local schools to book visits. I obviously made this a matter of prayer as I truly didn’t know what was the right thing to do. On the one hand we made the decision to home education to honour the Lord and to teach them the right way, but the timing just seemed so off and my whole life felt out of any sort of control. One evening I heard a sermon which gave me the answer I needed. Interestingly, it was the very text that gets quoted against home educating parents that persuaded me I was doing the right thing:

I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.  John 17:15

That first part is used as a reason to send your children to school and be a part of the world, however, what about the second part?  I live in and am a part of this world. I am a professing Christian and know the Lord Jesus to be my Saviour. I absolutely struggle with the temptations this world has to offer. My children are not professing Christians and I cannot make them so, but to expect them to fight all the temptations surrounding them in a worldly environment, without me even present, is frankly unfair and unrealistic. What I CAN do is teach them the Word of God, what is good and what is evil. I can do this in conversations that arise naturally, and I can also create opportunity to have these discussions in a way that is completely at their level and at the right time. I can answer their questions and I can leave it when it’s enough. I don’t make a timeframe and say this is what I will teach them by this age, each child is different and will take on different amounts of information as needed. While my children are children, I will attempt to train them and equip them to live uprightly. This is my duty as a parent.

So, the Lord showed me the hard way was the right way, and I needed to press on leaning on Him. How could I continue? Well my wise husband told me to take it back to basics. If no one had any say in anything, if I didn’t look at what others were doing, what would I want my children to learn? How would I approach it? And I knew the answer straight away. My approach is very different to others, which has caused me lots of doubt. But I don’t want to try and be school, I love the flexibility of less structure. So I made my peace with my style, I see the progression in my children and I trust the Lord to hear my prayers for each of them, that He will teach us all what we need to be taught. I still doubt myself, I still have days and weeks where I feel to have achieved nothing at all, but I thank God that He has truly shown me this is the right way for us as I can pray for more grace and push on.

Taking my children out of school felt like such a huge decision and it is a hard pathway at times, but I truly believe it is a calling and I am doing it for the honour and glory of our Lord Jesus. I would encourage all parents to make it a matter of much prayer, and to follow the Lord in it and not your own heart. Would my life be easier with the children at school? Absolutely! But would I have peace in my conscience? Absolutely not. I know I am doing what is best for them and the Lord is using it to refine me.

We are grateful to the author, a CViE supporter, for this honest and moving account of both the personal and family experience, and we invite submissions from anyone with a contribution to make.